Living Room Wreckage

An Ewok Village Living Room

Richard: On the upside, thanks to careful washings in cold water (and one teaspoon of vinegar-- ancient Chinese secret!), Tom's 100-count Peruvian slipcovers and throw pillows look just as woodsy and joyless as the day he bought them with his first post-college paycheck from the National Parks Service in 1992. Tom's posters, bought two weeks later from the same Wal-Mart, also appear to be in great condition.

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A Livingroom/Kitchen With Lime Green Curtains

John: It takes real courage to live with such curtains. And certainly a lad who offers himself to the worldwide web in a babushka is not lacking in courage, however foolhardy. He stands like an archaic Greek boy, in the contrapposto position, weight on the back leg, pelvis thrust to the side -- quite lovely.

But those curtains, with their stale vaudevillian sweep, keep butting in like a comic at a burlesque show.

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Pandit's Bunny World

Steve: I'm totally into this on four different levels, at least. First of all I think it's phenomenal that Pandit was able to purchase all of the upholstery for his entire home from one massive bolt of fabric. The coordination we're experiencing in this highly decorative interior is owing to that alone.

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An Invitation from Delicate Mr. Nate

Steve: Hi, my name is Nathan Reynolds-Dowager, but my friends call me Delicate Mr. Nate and you should too, now that we're sharing this beautiful moment together. The truth is... I'm known for my extreme sensitivity towards all beautiful things and that's why I surround myself with colorful patterns, artistic objects, tasteful furniture, and glistening, showcase-quality musical instruments.

Living here, in this paradise, I have become lonely. My sensitive, darling penis is erect most of the time these days, just waiting to share.

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Egyptian Pharoah's Living Room

David: This is a wonderful interior. Art, to me, always involves audacity, and to have the balls to hang that picture that way above the couch deserves applause. The plugs and wires, to the left, have a Frankensteinian charm, too. The Cezzane-like oranges on the right help anchor the triangular effect (another Cezzanish theme) which the painting brings into high relief. This is a beautiful disaster. I love it.

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TV Dinners in the Family Room

John: Living dangerously, the boys did not cover that gorgeous couch in plastic. They will soon regret that. In about two seconds. The mix-and-no-match pillows are a treat to the eye, sort of a tour of fabric samples. I love that the boy has removed his glasses and holds them ready to be put back on. Monica must have her fantasy, however brief.

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File This Under "Sins of the Mother"

John: The decor speaks to us of finer things and Quiet Good Taste and the Merv Griffin Suite at the Bellagio. The model is untouched by all this tamping down of artistic expression and is pretty fantastic on his own, being the only thing in this done room of unimpeachable beauty. My Prediction: This genre of people photographing themselves in the mirror, with the digital camera in the picture, will be collected someday as an artifact of sappier antique times.

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