Living Room Wreckage

Frumpus-Room-Cum-Barbie’s-Karaoke-Dream-Studio

Richard: If we have to slog through yet another 1970s revival, can we please do it the right way this time? The decade of Bowie and disco got a bad rap because some people went a little craftacular in their home decor -- like, all-Etsy, all-the-time. But there was a flip-side to that, a stunningly simple, clean, 70s aesthetic. Think of the work of Richard Serra or that killer home in Zabriskie Point (which is technically late 60s, but shut up).

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Recreating Edward Spenser's Bower of Bliss at Home

David: We're often asked why we don't include more references to 16th century literature on Lurid Digs. A normal request I suppose. I mean, we have created metaphoric references using everyone from Tammy Faye Baker to Idi Amin in the past. So let us now bring Edmund Spenser into the mix. In his hallucinogenic poem The Faerie Queen, Spenser describes the beguiling Bower of Bliss like this:

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Florid Hospitality or Grandma's Gay Porn Foray

Shawn: With epic under-employment and economic displacement wreaking collateral havoc with their pensions, even elderly Floridian women are turning to peddling smut in order to supplement their fixed incomes. Thus, the fetching Eastern European lad who tends to the complex pool while studying nights to become a pool pump installation specialist finds himself enticed into pumpin'something else under the Web nom de porn Vidal Manilow atop a giant sectional.

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The Life-Draining Power of Beige and Brown

David: For many humans lying beneath the stars on a summer night and contemplating the origins of the universe is an inspiring, soul-deepening experience. The opposite effect is achieved by pondering interior decisions like this one. Beige with brown mixed with patterns mixed with, uhm, what mood is the sofa's design trying to 'convey'? Actually, just typing out those two words: beige and brown, in tandem, sinks the heart and wilts the dick.

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More Fun With Wall Appliques!

David: We're considering starting a new category on Digs (similar to our Suffocating Sofas) for these crazy wall applications. What's disturbing in this shot is how the couch, the pillow, the stuffed animal and the mural appear to have been directly teleported in from the mid-70s, completely untouched. Only the edge of the silver laptop reminds us that we are, indeed, in the present -- insufferably so.

I can smell the wafts of mothballs as I type. A heady buzz.

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Wall Appliques and Proper Masturbatory Etiquette

David: These wall appliques are coming back in style, especially since the artsy photography of Steven Shore has entered the mainstream. Now more and more queens want to mimic that early 70s 'dentists office meets ecological wonderland' vibe. Which, I suppose is kind of fun, in a retro chic way. The problem here, of course, is the fucking couch.

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Another Occupational Hazard for our Staff

Sean: Is it just me or is the owner-occupant, in place of a crown mold, using a fabric scene from the Lion King as inspired by the portraiture of John William Waterhouse to accent his ceiling? If yes, I’m beginning to suspect that the past year spent judging interiors here on Lurid Digs has officially made me blind. Are the walls teal? In some places maybe. Are the blinds emerald? Most definitely. Are the suffocating couch cushion patterns so vivid that they make my computer screen swirl? Alas, a vomit-inducing yes.

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Brown Statue of David in Marshmallow Orange Hovel

Richard: At first I thought, "Oh great. Another slob." Slobs aren't entertaining, they're just lazy. They're the kind of people who start big projects, like patching the Sheetrock on the ceiling, then they get distracted by a good episode of Hoarders, thinking, "Hey, is that my mom?" 

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Egyptian Resin Room (For A Honeybee Bear)

Richard: It doesn't seem fair to bash on Francophiles for their delusions of grandeur, then turn right around and applaud someone else for puttin' on airs. But as somebody said in the bible that one time, "Suck it, Frenchy." (Good News translation.)

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How To Display Giant Buds of Marijuana In Your Living Room -- (We Think It's Marijuana)

Richard: Okay, yes: to you and me, this room looks pretty bad. Terrible, even. In fact, I wouldn't shy away from phrases like "vomit-inducing" or "the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life, including dreams, Jersey Shore, and Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone starring Molly Ringwald."

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