Living Room Wreckage

Backdoor Feng Shui

Barrett: Those orbs! Those glorious orbs! Yes, I've been a sucker for topiaries ever since my first Edward Scissorhands wet dream. But in this room, they're giving me nightmares.

As are many things.


A Mexican Theme Gone South

Barrett: After finishing his painting, “Vendedora de Flores,” I bet Alfredo Ramos Martinez hoped and prayed that one day it would be appreciated by generations of art lovers.

Instead, it ended up in this room.


Stripes, Florals and Polyester Sailboat Seascape

Barrett: It’s hard to look at this photo and not immediately notice two very big things.

First, apparently mini blind manufacturers are, inexplicably, still in business. Second, that kale colored ruffle valance should never be the focal point of any room. No matter what Lillian Vernon says.


Chair and Chair Alike

David:One chair begets another chair begets another chair. We've no proper 'problems' with this room save for a crisis of indecision as to where to park our asses.

High props for bringing back the rich bohemian application of rug-on-rug layering. And classy, expensive rugs at that! Mixing the Southwest American Indian pattern with the Persian creates a beguiling textural transitional effect.


Yule Love It

Eric:The holidays have a way of sneaking up on you. Suddenly you're feeling surrounded, maybe even invaded.

It's no secret that I do not care for theme décor. I don't like it when the room looks like it came out of a box, especially when it's going back in right after the Feast of the Epiphany. Christmas, shistmas.


A Room With Something For Everyone

Barrett: Deciding what’s most troubling in this room is difficult.

Is it what lurks between Cushion #2 and Cushion #3? Or that in 2014 there are still American homes without universal remote controls? Is it the fact that the Rooms 2 Go salesperson shafted this family by selling them a sofa and loveseat with wood accents that don’t match the tables? (Bonus points for the abundance of wood curvature on display, though.)


Sound Off! How Not To Hang Your Speakers

Richard: Some people think we're heartless. Before today, we might've agreed, but this photo makes us feel tingly and sad in all the wrong ways, which seems a lot like what The Poets have described as "heartbreak". So, how could we experience heartbreak without hearts, smartypants?


The Promise of a One-Night Stand Gone Bad

Richard: On a cold winter night, there's nothing better than spooning under the pelt of a black unicorn with a 12th-level druid you picked up over half a dozen pints of honeymead.


Before Compulsory Lifestyle Empires Began

Shawn: Is it a couch? Or is it a chair? The fuck if I know, but it definitely was purchased from a furniture factory outlet a stone's throw from Niagara Falls in 1986.


The Wooden World of Dr. Who

Richard: No doubt about it: the biggest problem in this room is wood.

Look past the pothus, slowly backing away from the filthy aquarium in the corner. Ignore the clutter, the snapshots wedged into the crevices of picture frames, the tchotchkes, the chips, the oriental rug laid across carpeting (is it that cold in here?), and the hanging kitchen lamp with a precariously dangling cord and an eyesore of a CFL. 



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