Bedroom Terrors

A Visual Cross Section of the "Mature" Gay Psyche

David: Wow, when this submission blew into our mailbox it took about ten minutes before my glee began to wane. Finally, I said to myself, someone has done an interior of their interior. One doesn't need to be a shrink to study the strata of wall hangings and collection of totems to immediately 'get' that this is a complete liberalization of the gay male psyche. As if goading us to enter his private inner world, the hospital green wallpaper preps us for psychic surgery.

Tags: 

Floral Explosion at the Overlook Hotel

Richard: Heaven help us: the Overlook Hotel is open for business again. Now, it would be easy for the novice to get distracted by those dead-eyed dolls and the teddy bear/chaser couple spooning in bed, but ignore them for a moment (if you can), because there's worse afoot. Let's start with that floral border, topping off the matchy-matchy (if you squint) wallpaper below it.

Tags: 

Earthquake Hazards -- with High Heels

David: I get a jittery, low-rumble-in-the-gut feeling from this interior. A reaction akin to a farm animal minutes before an earthquake strikes. Why such teeny tiny wall shelving, jam-packed with gewgaws and gay carnival trinkets? Let's hope that piggy bank is empty. Another big no-no, should this bed actually be used for any sort of sexual activity, would be the exposed light bulb fixture. Oh dear!

Tags: 

How Not to Scavenge Your Local Motel 6

Richard: There's nothing like the interweb to remind you how small the world is. Every week, I find myself sifting through the Tumblogs, and suddenly I'm like, "Oh, I've been to that restaurant!" or "Hey, that's my old roommate! But he always said he was a top..." And now, this photo, which was clearly taken in my youngest brother's bedroom circa 1995. 

Tags: 

Motel Chic: The New Gay Vagabond Vibrancy

David: It's fascinating how bad vibes can be generated from room decor that really isn't that abhorrent. The arrangement and choice of items here (especially the bedspread that looks like a gigantic tiger print paper towel) conveys a sort of gay vagabond vibrancy. This is what happens to someone when his social/sexual world is comprised of nothing but hookups. His abode begins to reflect the motel ethos of mini-bars, sticky VCRs and dining gear teleported directly from a 1970s Dairy Queen.

Tags: 

Safety Alert: Sloppily Installed Mirrors on Canopy Beds

David: This is more of a hazard warning, than aesthetics commentary. I mean, why would interior design advice need be given on an arrangement that should never occur in the first place? Namely, improperly installing mirrors within the fucking interior of a canopy bed. Never mind the fact that men shouldn't have or sleep in canopy beds.

Tags: 

A Room of Shrines, Altars and -- WTF?

Shawn:Again, just one of those room that had to be occupied by a woman (specifically: Mommy?) before being passed down to a male occupant. Lots of Garland fetishes, the requisite (eerie) family portrait, and an immense (terrifying) Valentine -- this must be how Myron Breckinridge felt when he'd awaken from a blackout to find Myra had taken control of his life.

Tags: 

Sage Walls Herald the Hark of Too Much Christmas

Richard: Oh. So close. So very, very close. The track lighting? Brilliant. Perhaps the best we've seen. A tad bright for sex, but that's what dimmers are for. The walls? Sublime. That soft sage/seafoam green may not be as trendy as honeysuckle (the official color of 2011 ), but it's still nice and strange and understated and NOT BEIGE.

Tags: 

Mexican Wrestler's Off-White and Blond Wood World

Shawn:Santo's inner sanctum? The Haunted World of El Superbeasto? This really is the ideal cover abode for a masked Mexican wrestler, of heroic or villainous persuasion. The practical, austere color palette -- plenty of bland off-white and no-nonsense unfinished blond wood -- is all about staying incognito as far as the neighbors go. A Lucha Libre superstar would just be drowning in red velvet or psychedelic tie dye. There are telltale giveaways for the keen-eyed wrestling groupie, though.

Tags: 

Dead Leaves Sitting Fallow in an Empty Bottle of Booze

Shawn: Another weirdly stranded-in-boyhood bedroom. As many of these as I encounter, I'm still bemused by the number of comforters that look like Zack Morris or Parker Lewis should be sleeping under them circa 1991.

Tags: 

Pages

Subscribe to RSS - Bedroom Terrors