Bedroom Terrors

Blue Light Special

Eric: Before you reach that certain age, there are things every gay man needs to know. Take notes. This room demonstrates how brutal the results can be if you don't start learning and applying.

Overhead fixtures in the bedroom? Only when necessary, and only using saturated, color-correcting soft white. Assignment: research 3-point glamour lighting, rimlight with bastard amber and fill with babyass pink.

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Give Us Wallpaper or Give Us Death

David: The Lurid friendster who submitted this discovery accompanied his submission with Oscar Wilde's famous last words:

"This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do."

We will choose the going when it comes to this disturbing wall treatment that generates, instantly, the feeling of being trapped in a gigantic box of Klennex. (If the box had been turned inside out).

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Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

David: This is an interior that delights way more than it disturbs, in other words it's a genuine anomaly on Lurid Digs. It also answers the burning question: What happens when little boys who love motorcycles, monster trucks and earth diggers mature into adulthood? Well, they purchase a circus trailer, move into it and take it out on the road.

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Don't Be So Selfie

Eric: I know you know for certain that the world eagerly awaits your next autobiographical snapshot and particular insight. What pearls of ummm wisdom will drip from your ummm tongue and be squeezed into 140 characters for followers who aren't whole without hourly visits to your ummm assets?

On behalf of the world, I beg you, take a breath and give us a break.

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A Lee Greenwood Song Come to Life

Richard: We see so many trainwrecks at Lurid Digs. Perhaps that's because few people understand the basic rules of home decor. Then again, maybe it's because Lurid Digs HQ is located right next to the Amtrak station.

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A Room Founded on Weakness

Richard: This is not the most unusual boudoir we've seen at Lurid Digs. We've witnessed interior architecture plucked from the depths of Bizarro World. We've seen collections of dildos that could service whole cities of powerbottoms -- simultaneously. We have seen taxidermy, for crap's sake.

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Winnie the Ewwwwwwwww

Eric: Like Pooh himself, here is a room of very little brain. When you buy prefab décor-in-a-box, you're outsourcing your imagination to a multinational corporation, and you end up with consumers living in a product, not kids (ahem) playing in a room. You also end up with adults unable to progress emotionally beyond the playpen.

It's just wrong.

Especially if you stop halfway. Buy the entire set and get all of the details, including main and accent wall colors to mitigate that soul-draining blue.

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The Threat of a Lone Detail

David: One of the occupational hazards of being a Lurid Digs editor is the danger of obsession. Particularly with a particular detail in a particular interior. Obsessed to the point that I'm haunted by the image throughout the day, and then too, occasionally -- frighteningly -- take the image with me to bed at night, where it might distort my dreams or foment nightmares. This study is a case in point.

And the haunting detail?

The curtain. (Note: Curtain -- singular).

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Post-Modern Dada Play Room

David: At first I thought the blue padded mat was part of one of those Barton Patient Transfer Systems, a device that allows folks to maneuver their elderly and addled family members effortlessly in and out of bed. But no, no, no this divan sandwich has been put together by a homeowner who is completely mobile and independent -- in fact he's a bit of a revolutionary.

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Queen of Denial

Eric: I've just returned from vacation. Bear with me while I get back into the zone and try to frame a Sphinxter joke.

Our recumbent He-opatra can say it ain't so until frogs fall from the sky, but this bed is a shrine, a big gay altar to a young Egyptian dragqueen. Pharaoh Fawcett-Majors, I'm guessing.

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