The Wooden World of Dr. Who

Richard: No doubt about it: the biggest problem in this room is wood.

Look past the pothus, slowly backing away from the filthy aquarium in the corner. Ignore the clutter, the snapshots wedged into the crevices of picture frames, the tchotchkes, the chips, the oriental rug laid across carpeting (is it that cold in here?), and the hanging kitchen lamp with a precariously dangling cord and an eyesore of a CFL. 

Look beyond all that and what do you see? Wood. Too much goddamn wood. And it's all mismatched. Which leads me to one and only one possible conclusion: the inhabitant of this room is Doctor motherfucking Who. 

How else can we explain the simultaneous co-existence of a Victorian mahogany side table and mirrors (plucked from the "Tooth and Claw" episode), a prairie-themed oak coffee table (from "A Town Called Mercy"), late 20th-century maple-ish picture frames (from "A Father's Day", obviously), and a veneered library table of uncertain provenance (found amid the junk heaps in "The Doctor's Wife") all in the same room?

Worst. TARDIS. Ever.