What's Wrong With This Picture?

Richard: At my elementary school, we were taught to be "normal". To get that point across, our teachers relied on drawings of bedrooms, stadiums, and shopping malls, each labeled with the same question: "What's wrong with this picture?"

I was pretty good in school, but I bombed on exercises like those. My responses were usually like, "Sure, that portrait of George Washington is upside-down, but perhaps that was the artist's intent." Or, "Yes, there's an elephant drinking from a water fountain beside the Chess King, but is that morally wrong--apart from the presence of Chess King?"

I have half a mind to send them this photo and see how they respond. Among they things they'd surely point out:

1. Laundry on the floor? Definitely not normal!

2. Miss Piggy and Gonzo? Boys don't play with dolls!

3. A bird attacking a deer wearing a wig? Not unless we're at a Bennigan's!

4. A bicycle indoors? Bikes belong outside, like dogs, children, and outhouses!

They'd never spot the real problem: the broken, leftover mirror from a shabby-chic chifforobe leaning against the wall, just waiting to rip someone's blouse. Nor would they spot the piece de resistance: a painting of the one, the only, the truly outrageous Jem above the hutch.

Fucking cretins.

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