Eric B

Eric B. does not Facebook, Tweet or blog. He uses the internet to cruise for sex, like god intended. He has leopard print in every room of his house, save one. And he does not apologize

Eric:I've never been so relieved that our self-promoting pioneer Lady Mendl has been dead for 65 years. This room would make her flip over and shit straight up in the air.

I'll wait while you Wiki her and then try to unsee that image...

(sings quietly, 'on her back is the Battle of Waterloooooooooooo
beside it, the wreck of the Hesperus, tooooooooo")

She would never put a sundial in a bathroom.

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I have been staring at this

Thom remarks:

I have been staring at this photo for hours and have yet to see anything wrong with it.

Sun, 09/04/2016 - 16:42

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Eric:At first I thought it was me. Then I put my glasses on and the room looked exactly the same.

From the popcorn ceiling to Granny's faded wallpaper to the disturbed nap of the upholstery to the cork floor, even to the reflected Olan Mills backdrop, the tenant's body fur and the acidwashed cat's-whisker finish on his jeans (has there ever been a more stupid fashion trend, by the way?

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Eric: Back in 1960, American moviegoers were introduced to Suzie, a gold-hearted Hong Kong whore. The film's cultural legacy is large-- the still-stunning Nancy Kwan, an iconic haircut, quaint racism, the cheongsam dress (see photo),and the realization that the Asiana the men had brought back from their war(s) could move out of the attic and into the house proper.

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Eric: Every once in a while, for mental discipline I imagine how I'd downsize from my garden-level 1200 sq ft back to the 400 of my beloved micro-loft. I bet the occupant of this room never pictured himself in an SRO bedsit. Poor fella. I wish him well.

I wouldn't, however, wish that window mistreatment on anyone. Nothing against lace curtains -- I have half a dozen pair of nice, heavy ecru ones, souvenirs of my Swingin' Edwardian Bachelor Pad days.

But these don't even close. WTF?

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Eric: Parts of this little corner of design hell are eerily familiar to me. I have a set of denim drapes. They're in my Gay Vintage Farmboy guestroom. Also there is a lamp my father made in shop class in 1955 and the 'Early American' bedroom suite from my adolescence, pieces of which I drybrushed to cover how inexpensive they were.

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VillageMutt (not verified) remarks:

There is no god.

Sat, 09/26/2015 - 19:33

anonymous (not verified) remarks:

I'm sorry, I know we're not supposed to comment on the occupants, but is that pre-Subway Jared Fogle? He looks so defiant. I guess I would have expected a more kid-friendly room. The stains on the wall are creeping me out more than what I just wrote. It actually amazes me that those pastel, striped sheets look so clean. Although, to be fair, putting the dark navy sheet up on the window is a better choice; dark colored sheets tend to show up cumstains so much more.

Sat, 09/26/2015 - 22:00

ericthewriter (not verified) remarks:

I was gonna make a joke about the Penis of Willendorf but instead i'll just quietly point out that leopard print sheets don't show any stains at all.

Sat, 09/26/2015 - 23:03

Anonymous (not verified) remarks:

This is the mother of all tragic Craigslist advertisements. Imagine the horror to find out the poster embellished heavily and you are greeted by that monstrosity.....a twin size bed.

Sun, 09/27/2015 - 16:56

butchlvr (not verified) remarks:

Eric raises some quite valid design issues. But what I found most disturbing about this room (leaving the occupant aside)is the ominous stains on the wall next to the bed. They're...oh gawd, what are they?? I shudder to think. So, yes, a paint job would be of great benefit. Not sure what colour....something that'd contrast with the Navy Blue sheets used as drapery, perhaps? Hmmmm...now where did I put my Colour Wheel....ahhhh...okay, opposite of Navy Blue would be... hmmm--mmmm... red? A deep vibrant Chinese Red perhaps? A bit startling but they do say red excites the libido so....but how does one sleep in a red-walled room? No...so not red. What else? Oh...what the hell...just slap a new coat of Ecrue on those walls and be done with it!

Tue, 09/29/2015 - 11:51

ericthewriter (not verified) remarks:

Orange is the complement of blue.

Tue, 09/29/2015 - 16:22

anonymous (not verified) remarks:

You might as well give up and paint it chocolate brown; anything else would be counterproductive at this point.

Tue, 09/29/2015 - 23:32

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