Richard: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our holiday home tour of Bay-Area basements, sponsored by Airbnb.
Airbnb: depleting rental housing stock and destroying communities since 2008. Next, we're checking out this tastefully decorated mancave that should give you football fans plenty of decorating ideas. And just look at all that holiday cheer: the dazzling lights! The Santa! Santa's Coca-Cola big rig!
This one-bedroom, half-bath has a very special feature: an incredible shrinking drop-ceiling! It's like someone took a split-level ranch and turned it upside down. It's a metaphor, I think! So, so cosy and not remotely claustrophobic.
But to fully appreciate these digs, you need to breathe it all in--literally. Take a whiff. That kind of super funk can't be artificially manufactured, no ma'am! It requires Regan-era wall-to-wall carpet, a redundant area rug, and a chain-smoking inhabitant who's addicted to porn. Two delightful Yankee candles and a dissipated Glade room deodorizer add to the elusive scent--and they make great decorations, too!
Now, back to the bus for the next stop. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I'll give you a five-word hint: "Facebook indentured servant bunk beds"!